How is this possible, that life just “went on?”

These past two years that you have been gone

With a heart full of sorrow, and eyes full of tears

I struggle to pass through another year

I fight to control this pain so intense

Till the numbness takes hold, my hearts self defense

From the time that I rise, till night when I bed

I ask the Lord why, why is my son dead

But He doesn’t answer, He just says be brave

Each tear that you shed, in a bottle I save

Stay your course, and finish the race

For you too I am preparing a place

But Lord don’t you know, that just isn’t enough

This life is too hard; I am just not that tough

I cry all the time, it doesn’t seem fair

Lord please tell me why, why you’ve taken him there

I know that Heaven is a wonderful place

I know that with you, he is certainly safe

But Lord, I wanted him still here with me

Why can’t you understand, why don’t you see?

When you come home, only then will you see

The reasons I needed him here, safe with me

For now you are going to just have to trust

The hard things I do, I do only when I must

And then the Lord asks a question of me

Why is it that you no longer trust Me?

Did you forget all that I’ve done?

Did you forget, I too lost a Son?

I gave Him up freely, so that your son would live

So dear child you tell Me, what more could I give?

I know that this hurts, I do understand

But if I’m to help you, you must take my hand

For one day I truly do want you to see

My Son and yours, in eternity

And so I admit the pain is still here

And I know I’ll continue to shed many tears

But I’ll not turn my back on the One that loves me

I hold on to His gift, His promise to me

By Darcy Sare - Chris' Mom

Copyright © 2003 by Chris Wren Memorial. All rights reserved.
 

Loosing a child is indescribable.  Too painful for word to express, sometimes I fear the pain will swallow me up, that I will not be able to "function" any more.  And life is full of pain, all kinds of pain, none of us are able to escape it.  But life is also full of love and joy, and though sometimes the pain hides the joy from us, it is still there... waiting to be experienced.  This is how I carry on, when the pain seems too much to bare, I look for the joy, and most times I am able to find it.  It's presence comes in the laugh of a child, a call from a friend, mostly it comes from my family, all gifts God has bestowed on us.

I want all of you to know why I am able to endure the loss of my sweet sweet son.  I KNOW that he resides in the arms of our heavenly Father.  I know that he is in a perfect place, where there is no more crying, no more sorrows.  He is in paradise. If I had to wonder if he just ceased to exist, that I might never see him again, or worse, that he was somewhere awful.., then the grief I experience now would pale in comparison.

I know Chris didn't always live a perfect life, but God does not require us to live a perfect life, He only requires us to know Him.  The way that we can know Him is by acknowledging that we are sinners, asking for forgiveness and receiving His son Jesus Christ into our lives.  Chris did this.  He accepted Jesus as his savior as a young teenager, he rededicated his life on several occasions, he wasn't perfect, he sometimes failed, but all of us do. 

The bible says "love is patient, love is kind, love does not boast, is never jealous, love is long suffering... Faith, hope, and love... and the greatest of these is love"  Chris had the kindest purest heart.  He loved deeply, he loved his family, he loved his friends.  There is nothing he would not do for any of them.  Chris' greatest gift from God was that perfect, selfless love, his big generous heart.  Chris, I know, knew the lord.

Though I miss him more than sometimes seems bearable, I anxiously await the day when I will once again see him in heaven.  .

Below you can find links to web sites that can help you have that same hope.   If you want to talk to some one about it, e-mail me @ DarcySare@yahoo.com  or call me at home.